5 Ways to Strengthen Your Friendship with Your Spouse

“Marriage without friendship is like a bird without wings.” (Bishop Dale Bronner). Having a strong friendship with your spouse is foundational to a fantastic, functioning, marital relationship. When you are able to develop the friendship zone first in your courting season, you will value the marriage later. Moreover, once you tie the knot, your friendship can always continue to grow and deepen. In the following post, I will layout 5 ways to strengthen your friendship with your spouse.

Just the other day while I was down in the dumps, my husband called to check on me and offered to spend an hour out of his jam-packed day to cheer me up. We’re both busy with our schedules and parenting, but making each other a priority was much needed. We ended up taking a walk and going fishing. Our time was peaceful and relaxing. To top it off I caught a fish!

Spending quality time with hubby and I caught a fish!

Little moments like those remind me of how much I appreciate my friendship with my husband. When life gets hard or when I’m not my best, he’s there to cheer me up. Good friends love in spite of the circumstances. I heard someone once say, “A friend is like a good bra, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, makes you look better, and is close to your heart.” I trust our friendship. Because of this trust, Tory has my permission to speak into my life, get in my stuff, and help me clean it up.

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

Proverbs 27:6 NIV

5 Ways to Strengthen Your Friendship with Your Spouse

This may come as a surprise to you, but these 5 suggestions are not about activities or ways you and your spouse can come fill another time slot in your calendar (although those are important)! If you’re R.E.A.D.Y to go to the next relational level with your spouse, strengthening your friendship with your spouse starts with growing you. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

My best friend and husband

Friendship is such a sweet responsibility that we have to cherish and continue to nurture. Our friendship with our spouse can be as healthy and life-giving as we are individually and it must be anchored in the foundation of Jesus Christ. Below are the 5 ways you can strengthen your relationship with your spouse by focusing on developing you:

Are you R.E.A.D.Y. to strengthen your marital relationship?

  • R – resolved and committed to the process. No matter where you are in your marriage regarding friendship, know that nurturing friendship requires continual practice and intentionality. Having the dream friendship and relationship does not happen overnight. We serve a God of process and our level of sanctification can accelerate or decelerate that process. I Thessalonians 4:3 says, “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality.”
  • E – equipped with the adequate tools. We need the right tools to help us if we want the right way. The Word of God is RICH in practical ways of loving, serving, and being a great friend. “The Word of God is living and active. Shaper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12

“Sweet friendships refresh the soul and awaken our hearts with joy, for good friends are like the anointing oil that yields the fragrant incense of God’s presence.”

Proverbs 27:9 TPT
  • A – apprenticed to a wise mentor. Find someone who can mentor you as a married wife or married husband. Don’t be a lone ranger. We all need someone in our life that can pour into us from wise experience. Titus 2:4 says, “Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children.”
  • D – developing and maturing. You may need to rebuild trust in your friendship. Know that healing comes from the Healer. With Christ you have everything! Good friends forgive each other and don’t distract each other from destiny. Colossians 3:13 states, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
  • Y – yielded to the God. Ask yourself this question, “Can the Holy Spirit tell you something to do and you do it?” Ultimately, Jesus should be number one in our lives and we have a responsibility to answer to Him. Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first commandment.” Matthew 22:37-38

Check out this podcast from XO Marriage on Friendship in Marriage. Post Inspired by Five Minute Friday and Word of Faith Church.

Additional Reads:

5 Best Marriage Advice Every Young Could Needs

9 Simple Date Ideas for Couples After Having a Baby


  1. Sabrina

    What a great message.

  2. Beautiful happy picture of you and the fish.

  3. Great advice, Nicci. I’m glad you guys have a great friendship; that’s always a good foundation. Kath, visiting from FMF #2 this week.

  4. Ok, I’m a dude, and a friendship being like a good bra…hmmm. NOT going there.

    Friendship with a spouse is great,
    and in good times it’s a trip,
    but when days are getting late,
    we need more of comradeship.
    Cancer’s got me on the ropes,
    every day some more I bleed,
    literally and in hopes,
    and I find that what I need
    is assurance that my wife’s
    life will in joy continue on
    past that coming time my life’s
    wrapped up, finished, and then gone,
    and the only thing I ask
    is at the bar, she’ll raise a glass.

  5. Phyllis E Wooley

    Great Job Nicci!
    Friendship in a marriage is vitally important.
    We must make our spouse feel like they are our top priority, because true friendship lasts a lifetime!
    I love the pictures of you and your handsome husband doing life together!

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