3 Marriage Myths vs. Realities

My husband and I will be approaching 5 years of marriage this December and I’m so thankful for all that I have learned thus far! I think with anything that is beautiful, good, and sacred, such as marriage, comes with it a sense of responsibility.

Scripture says in Luke 12:48, “…When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” The enemy wants to distort truth. As married couples, I believe we have a responsibility to present the truth so the institution of marriage will be gracefully received and continued to be desired in a holy and pure way. Below are 3 marriage myths vs. realities.

“Marriage is like watching the color of leaves in the fall; ever changing and more stunningly beautiful with each passing day.” 

Fawn Weaver

3 Marriage Myths vs. Realities

Myth #1 Perfect Marriages Exist

The reality is that healthy marriages exist, but perfect? Sometimes, we are fed the lie that once we become married, all of our problems we experience in our singleness will go away. We believe that if only we meet Mr. or Mrs. Right, then we will forever be happy. Instant gratification from social media and culture also feeds into the narrative that #hashtag “perfection” is attainable. We have to be careful how we approach marriage in this light.

Marriage is about two imperfect people accepting each other’s flaws, loving, growing, and forgiving each other daily. Being a great spouse is not about being perfect, it’s about not giving up on each other (Kate Stewart). It’s okay that perfect marriages do not exist. What I have experienced and found that healthy marriages are pretty darn amazing!

Myth #2 Your Spouse Completes You

The reality is that you should compliment each other. Putting the expectation on another person to complete you sounds too burdensome, honestly. It certainly sounds nice, “My other half completes me.” Yet, what happens when the other spouse is not their best or the marriage is not in the best place? At this point, circumstances can only be resolved based on the outcome of your other half. The truth is, we will fail each other. But God….He never fails.

God ultimately is the only one that can complete us. Colossians 2:10 states, “So you also are complete through your union with Christ.” Our goal, whether single, engaged, or married is to continue to seek wholeness and healing from God and then the relationship will begin to flourish! By prioritizing God in the relationship, we put our spouse in the correct position and are able to receive from our Heavenly Father and pour into our marriage. Marriage is beautiful when we follow God’s math (1 +1) = 1.

“”There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ.”

Pascal

Myth #3 Love is a feeling

Reality is that love is a daily choice and we will not always feel like loving our spouse. Oh the butterflies and sparks are there in the beginning of the dating relationship and does carry into the marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I still have butterflies when my husband walks into a room. Truth is, we have to be careful that we associate feelings and emotions with love. What happens when disagreements arise or clothes are left on the floor instead of in the hamper?

True love is commitment even in our worst. John 15:13 (AMP) says, “No one has greater love [nor stronger commitment] than to lay down his own life for his friends.” Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this While we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Love covers each other. It’s choosing to overlook those quirks and flaws and still saying, you are the only one for me.

Additional Reading:

5 Best Marriage Advice Every Young Couple Needs

6 Marriage Myth Busters